The Count of Monte Cristo

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"When you pay me a visit in my cell, my young friend," said he, "I will
show you an entire work, the fruits of the thoughts and reflections of
my whole life; many of them meditated over in the shades of the Colosseum
at Rome, at the foot of St. Mark's column at Venice, and on the borders
of the Arno at Florence, little imagining at the time that they would be
arranged in order within the walls of the Chateau d'If. The work I speak
of is called 'A Treatise on the Possibility of a General Monarchy in
Italy,' and will make one large quarto volume."

"And on what have you written all this?"

"On two of my shirts. I invented a preparation that makes linen as
smooth and as easy to write on as parchment."

"You are, then, a chemist?"

"Somewhat; I know Lavoisier, and was the intimate friend of Cabanis."